The great social media circus: A character study

Roll up, roll up for the grandest show on the internet – the Facebook news feed! It’s a spectacular parade of colourful characters and strange spectacles. We all know the cast, even if we don’t realize it. We’ve got the regulars, the silent spectators, the constantly aggrieved, and more. So let’s spotlight them and give a big virtual round of applause!

Firstly, we have our beloved ‘Groupies.’ These folks are as loyal as your childhood Golden Retriever. They follow your every post, laugh at your every meme, cry with every emotional video, and are essentially the living embodiment of ‘like, comment, share.’ They’re the digital version of a standing ovation at the end of every post. Keep on rockin’, groupies; you’re doing great!

Next, we have the ‘Silent Majority,’ that elusive creature who sees all but likes… not much. They’re like your grandparents who bought binoculars to watch birds but ended up spying on the neighbors instead. They won’t engage with your posts online but will certainly corner you at family gatherings to explain why that cat video epitomizes hilarity.

Then, let me introduce you to our ‘Always Offended’ group. Boy, these guys can find a fault line in a pancake. They’re like reverse motivational speakers – no matter how joyful or innocent a post may be, they can always find a way to dampen the spirit. You know what they say, some people walk in the rain, others get wet.

Moving on, allow me to present ‘The Explainers,’ the folks who never let a joke stand alone without a detailed analysis. They’re like that friend who insists on explaining the punchline – right after the room has erupted in laughter. It’s their divine mission to delve into the philosophical depths of a SpongeBob meme. We get it, buddy, but it’s just a talking sponge!

We also have our ‘Conspiracy Theorists,’ the resident Sherlock Holmeses of social media, seeing beyond the veil of seemingly harmless posts. You might think it’s just a picture of an avocado. Still, they’re here to remind you that avocado shortages could be a calculated move by the Illuminati to control brunch menus.

Then there’s our ‘Social Justice Warriors.’ They can spot an issue faster than a bloodhound chasing bacon. They will rise for every cause, take offense on behalf of anyone, and use your light-hearted, cat-dressed-as-a-pirate meme to discuss pirate rights and feline consent.

Finally, behold ‘The Walking Dictionaries,’ the sworn enemies of typos, rogue apostrophes, and comma splices everywhere. They’re like human versions of autocorrect but without the funny mistakes. For them, a cat meme isn’t just a joke; it’s an opportunity to educate you on the proper use of ‘their,’ ‘they’re,’ and ‘there.’

So there you have it, folks – the leading acts in our Facebook circus. Whether you’re a groupie, a member of the silent majority, an explainer, or a conspiracy theorist, we’re all playing a part in this digital charade. Remember, we’re here for the laughs, the shares, and the occasional enlightenment from the unsolicited explainer. Here’s to you, you fantastic bunch of unique individuals who somehow all fit into these oddly specific categories!

Mike Said

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